The art to get what you want.

Everyone wants to get the best out of our lives. Each one of us has different dreams and fantasies. We all wish to raise up above our current state so badly. Fulfill our deepest desires. We really wish to but don’t have the courage to. The fear overwhelms us. We don’t honestly believe ourselves that we will make it to the other side. We are afraid of losing everything after putting everything at stake.

It is somewhat true for every person around us. While at the same time we find it a lot easier to rely on different sources like people and things. We try to limit ourselves around these comfort zones.
Depending, we are certainly not going to get out there and get what we want. We have to stand up on our own without relying on someone. We have to take charge of OUR OWN life. We can’t expect anyone to do that. We must choose to stand up on our own. It might seem hard or even impossible to get through it. But it is the only way to live the life of OUR VERY OWN dreams to the full extent. The sole way to get those things we want. Nothing less, no adjustment, only more of it. Don’t be satisfied with what you have. Don’t be satisfied with those incomplete dreams. Thrive to get more of it. Don’t let those jobs choose what you need to dream. Make the choices of your dreams on your own. Browse through the opportunities and choose the ones you feel most comfortable with. Don’t trust the word impossible.whatever you choose it has to be yours because you chose it. Make it yours. Work your way up to get it. Fight for it and live it. Don’t let anything or anyone to intervene between you and your dreams. Get yourself ready to live the life of your dreams. Pull yourself NOW from the mess and get ready to fight.

The world is not cold.

Growing up, everyone is told like a million times that the world is grim. It’s cold. Each and everyone is greedy, egotistical, mean and much more. You cannot ( are not supposed to)trust anyone but you. I was told likewise. When I refused to believe. They told that you will come to know this thing when you have more experience.
As my judgment was distinctive, I started finding people who share the same judgment. I came to know about the story of two people. John and Ryan.
John and Ryan had a very different relationship. They were friends at the same time John was a student and Ryan was a mentor. John was much younger than Ryan. Initially learning from each other was very fun for them. They always cared about each other.
One day Ryan decided to work on the weakness of John. John was an HSP( Highly Sensitive Person. This state is known to come hereditary.) He didn’t acknowledge it as a weakness.

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He just burst out of tears whenever he was angry, confused or hurt. Even arguing made him cry. Tears were just ready to flow out of his tears. It was natural for him. He had absolutely no control over it. He didn’t consider himself weak because of HSP nature. He considered himself to be able to feel the depths of human emotions. He kinda liked it. But nobody knew that he was an HSP. It was his secret, he never intended to tell anyone.
So thinking John was fragile, Ryan decided to make him emotionally stronger. Whenever he taught something to John he was way too harsh on that criticism. He was using horrible and mean words even sharper than arrows. Ryan thought if he would practice becoming harsher than the world out there, John will not have any difficulty adapting to the world out there.
John noticed it. But due to his HSP nature, he was extensively being hurt. It was like he had new wounds every day before he could cover his old ones. He started following “tit for tat” and started responding in an abrupt way. Ryan though his plan is working. But it wasn’t true. He was broke on the inner side of his body. Since John was a teen and Ryan was older than him, John pitied himself believing that world is really a harsh place. He gave up on his assumption, that the world is good. Even after he realized that Ryan continued to behave that consistently. Ryan was happy more than sad. Because he believed that John is on the right path.
After a few years, when John got to know the world, absolutely. He was 10 feet away from every person. He could not just let someone in. But then he met people. He couldn’t stop seeing the actual good there is in people. Those people resurrected his faith in the world. He was reaffirmed by real experiences. He came to know that nobody is bad. It’s just the situation that makes a person look bad. He thought over the same thing that why Ryan was portraying himself bad? He though it for weeks. He couldn’t find the answer. He was going to ask Ryan himself. So he went over his house. Sadly, at the same time, Ryan was dealing with some family stress. He was frustrated. John recognized that. He forced him to tell everything that was going on. Let me portray that conversation.
J- What is it? Is it work, family? Did you screw up?
R- NO! no. The only problem is I…I didn’t screw up.
J- What?
R- I am a perfect husband, son, employee. Nobody is mad at me.
J- So why are you so mad at yourself?
R- Because I am done.
J- For what?
R- I am done being the person everyone likes. I just wished so much for everyone. I just wanted to help everyone and I did. I did but I got so carried away that I am not a single person anymore. I am heartless, and inspiration as a manager. I am the most romantic person alive as a husband. I am the best son to be. I am everything I was supposed to be. But something feels terribly wrong. I..I…
J- The reason you have that feeling is that you don’t know anymore who you are. You are everything but not Ryan. Back from the time when changed. That one day you made me believe that the world is harsh.
R- I don’t know what are you talking about.
J- But you changed me today, again. You showed me that how good can a person be. How a being can be so selfless. I believe strongly now that the world is not a grim. Its joy and much more than it. We just have to choose what to see.
Ryan was stumped. John left. Those were his last words before leaving Ryans house.
I don’t know what happened next. But I learned a very important lesson. You cannot be strong by just being cold, ruthless or even emotionless. There is another way to be strong. By having faith in people. By believing that the goodness in people will prevail. This story reaffirmed my faith. My judgment made me let people in. I choose to hope for good instead of being afraid of the bad. Because I know that “bad” comes conditionally. Its always up to you whether you judge people by their best or curse them for their worst. Just use the proper pair of eyes to see how much good is there inside the world. Bad can never exceed over good.

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It is destined that Good always triumphs over bad. Hope was, is and always will be stronger than fear.

When comfort is not enough.

Yubing Zhang an ambitious woman, was standing on the worlds largest bungee jumping platform. She was just a few seconds away before the jump. And she realized that her mind was telling her, “you can’t do this.” The operator tied the cord to her ankle. she could feel the weight of the rope as the operator throws the slack in the air.she was standing on the edge of the platform trying to balance herself against the wind. A moment later, she turned back and told the operator that she wants to quit. that she couldn’t do it. Right when she turned away from the platform, she read a quote that was right on the glass in front of her. It read,

Life begins at the edge of your comfort zone.

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She turned right back and jumped from the platform.
And what did she find? She found that this is the beauty she was wanting to see. this is the beauty she was wanting to experience. This is something she wanted for a long time, but her fear was keeping her from taking the jump. and when she took the jump she realized that it was not as scary as it looked.
We all want to pursue our passions. We all want to do that one thing that we’ve always wanted to do. We all want to go out there and take that experience. But our fear holds us back. You want to start that business startup. But you are afraid to give up everything that you have for a dream with uncertainty. You want to go out and sing but you are afraid what if it doesn’t work out the way you want it to. You want to be with that person for all of your life, but you are afraid to confess it. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of so many different things is holding us back. Because fear is what confines you in your comfort zone.
And when you try to push this comfort zone, it pushes you back. It stops you from doing the things you are so passionate for.
We all are scared of different things. And it is okay to be scared. But how to overcome this? How to get out of this comfort zone? How to work beyond this comfort zone?
You may be afraid, but it’s these moments where you have to find the courage to stand up. To jump from the edge of your comfort zone to discover the excitement, amazingness, and fascination in life that awaits you. It’s these times, where you have to know that you can live the life of your dreams. This fear is a human emotion. But isn’t it also human to rise above your weaknesses and fears? Isn’t it also human to be your own hero?
Yes, it is. You can do everything and anything you want to without being afraid. Go out there and do it. You will find that

It is not as scary as it looks.

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Be the person you always wanted to be. Forget those limits, reasons that are holding you back. You can break through all of them. You can live fearless, limitless. I can’t guarantee your success or failure. But I can guarantee that when you go fearless, you will discover new limits. You will have pushed yourself beyond your comfort zone. You will start finding new lines to cross. New fears to overcome.Until,

You become comfortable with the uncomfortable.

And you know what the surprising thing is? You won’t stop even when you get everything you wanted. Because now you are living the life of your dreams and you wouldn’t stop living this life of your dreams!!

Why competing with yourself is more important than competing with others?

Earlier, when I learned about Prolophy(Productive-Philosophy) behind the statement about competing with yourself, I spent most of my time comparing myself with the people around me. I compared myself in terms of everything. It was looks, talent, skills, attitude, everything that makes a human. Result? I guess we both (reader and writer that is you and me!) how it turned out to be… Well, it didn’t turn out to be well. It was like torturing myself for the way I am. Which was a somewhat painful process.

So I did some digging, tried to find out the solution to this problem. Out of many substantiated answers, there was one which stumped me.

Compete with nobody,but yourself.

At first, it seemed like obvious and lame to me! I mean this is a big world! There are like 7 billion people out there! But when I thought it more mindfully and practiced it regularly, it turned out to be one of the most thrilling experiences I have ever had. I found many benefits of practicing this statement. That’s what I am gonna talk about today.

  • You get to know yourself.

Sometimes for people like me knowing what you love, who you are, what you want might not be a simple process. I can tell this from my own experience. I was so into being envious of other people that I didn’t know who I was.

But when I started working through this one sentence, when I started competing with myself, I came to know what I like, what I don’t, where can I spend more hours, and where I won’t spend my spare second and everything that lies between. It just changed the way I look at things. I gained a new and fascinating perspective. I gained a new very positive outlook on people.

  • The competition never ends.

Some people may find it equally frustrating as I first did. I mean going on a race without an end? How stupid is that!? But you will know as I did it’s more amazing that you would’ve thought, literally. Its exciting, thrilling and much more that awaits you. How?

because you are constantly on a learning curve. You are improving yourself every moment. Every second you are being a better version of yourself. No matter how much you practice a particular thing there will always be the room of improvement for you. It’s not tiresome! It’s exhilarating!

  • You may find your calling.

Yes, it is possible. Like I have already stated you get to know more of yourself. You rediscover yourself. While going through all the pile of things you want to do you may find that there’s one thing at which you don’t wanna stop. You just wanna grow in the particular area. You just wanna take leaps and break the limits. Then find new limits and break them again. This could be your calling.

Now don’t get me wrong. This is a ‘MAY’- type advantage. You may not find your calling. Maybe you are a multipotentialate! This is one of your extra perks.

  • You accept yourself as who you are.

Yes! no more comparisons. You accept yourself as who you are, genuinely. You get to know where you stand and are willing to improve in every possible area you can. That means you are not uncomfortable with yourself anymore. Even if you are you know for sure that it is not gonna last for a long time.

  • You are insanely productive!

This is one of the perks you might be wanting to get all along. You are doing everything you’ve ever wanted to and guess what, it’s making you more productive than you ever was. This time you are not holding back because you were busy with some other work, but this time you are doing all the things! There no one for you to hold your standard to except you! You trust yourself, and that’s why you move fast and happy!

Of course, these are from the people I have observed and Some things are my own experience. You may have some more powerful or less powerful experiences or this may not be you know just your thing. But I strongly believe that the statement,

Compete with noone but yourself.

has a lot more potential than I have harnessed. So please feel free to share your own experiences and suggestions in the comments section, because you are helping all the people who are gonna read this article by doing that.

Have a good day/night!

 

 

When things look the bleakest…..

A friend of mine was very passionate about a particular type of work he wanted to get done. He was so dedicated and gave his best(at least he thought he did) but in the end, he failed to achieve what he was wanting to achieve. He broke apart, froze. Went from Mr.sunshine to who knows what. When I talked to him he told me about how he felt. At first, he refused to talk about it. He said it made no sense. But when I forced my way into his mind, I discovered he has completely lost hope. He had no expectations of him or anyone or anything. He was just watching at the things in front of him, feeling empty.

Well, his parents saw treatments for him and he was cured. So his concerns are not our concerns now. But, why did this happen? Did he really give his best? Or was his mind painting an illusion for him?

I don’t know the answer. But we have to take care that it doesn’t happen to us. Again, it might not be possible for some people to be hopeful and happy all the time. We all have our moments. So we must the know the way to come out of it.

When things like this happen we lose hope. We see all the roads dark and rocky. We trap ourselves into some boundaries. Not even able to dream of an escape. At such time we feel fearful, painful, hurting and even hopeless and so on.

Accept it. Everybody is afraid. It’s you, me and the also the person who has it all. But somebody of us has to stand up. Find the courage even when you feel there is none. Fight those feelings, even if you don’t want to. Because these feelings live on our fears. Just ask yourself, what would you do if you were not afraid? what would you do at this very moment, if you know there isn’t any fear inside you? You will get your answer. You will know the fact that what are you supposed to do to lead to that life where you was happy and joyful and many different things.

When you break this barrier, these limits, these barricades you will know that they weren’t there. Only the fear, hopelessness and those other negative feelings kept you from doing what you were supposed to do. That’s when you learn what went wrong, and why did it happen. Now you don’t question anything because everything is clear to you. and you know where to go and what to do. That’s when you know that the things aren’t hopeless. And hope can’t win over fear.

It turns out to be that all the negative feelings aren’t as much negative. Because they help you to emerge yourself into a more positive version of yourself.

Next time, when things look the bleakest, ask yourself “what would I do if there was no fear?”.And always remember that

HOPE is far far stronger than FEAR.

Are you afraid of change? How does it matter?

When do you think that everything is going fine, suddenly something happens? Completely unexpected. You get frozen at the ground, afraid to move. This fear is not even has a trigger. Why does this matter? Where does it come from?

This is how I see it.

When something happens with us good or bad, different than our usual routine we blame someone or something. We take it so unexpectedly that it sometimes breaks us.

But the truth is it is not unexpected. If you take a moment, and a deep breath along with it, you will come to know that it was gonna happen and you knew it. You just didn’t care to notice it or you failed to notice it. You got so comfortable with your previous state that you didn’t see what was coming and that’s why its hard for you now.

It won’t be like that forever. Unless you make it too. you have two alternatives now

1)Do nothing

2)Embrace the change.

Of course, I am gonna talk about the 2nd way.

Suppose you find a new job. Now the boss here is so annoying. She constantly thrashes me. She finds faults in a perfect work. She doesn’t see her own faults. She should not be the one who gets to thrash as she is not perfect in the first place. and blah..blah…blah.

I can’t do this job. I am frustrated. I am having fevers, headache because of this job and ta-daah! here is my resignation.

Instead, you can think about it in a very positive way.

This is new. The environment here is new. It’s different. Challenging. I am doing those things that all my previous colleagues are not doing. I am learning new things. I am breaking limits. I am pushing myself. I am reaching new limits.

The moment you find this thought a place in your mind, it will help you to adapt yourself to a new environment. You will learn how to embrace change. You will learn how to change with the situation. and trust me this quality is pure gold. with this quality, you can find your comfort zone in anything you do. And that will help you to achieve excellence in everything in you do.

So from now don’t fear the change instead embrace the change.

Please leave comments!