Growing up, everyone is told like a million times that the world is grim. It’s cold. Each and everyone is greedy, egotistical, mean and much more. You cannot ( are not supposed to)trust anyone but you. I was told likewise. When I refused to believe. They told that you will come to know this thing when you have more experience.
As my judgment was distinctive, I started finding people who share the same judgment. I came to know about the story of two people. John and Ryan.
John and Ryan had a very different relationship. They were friends at the same time John was a student and Ryan was a mentor. John was much younger than Ryan. Initially learning from each other was very fun for them. They always cared about each other.
One day Ryan decided to work on the weakness of John. John was an HSP( Highly Sensitive Person. This state is known to come hereditary.) He didn’t acknowledge it as a weakness.
He just burst out of tears whenever he was angry, confused or hurt. Even arguing made him cry. Tears were just ready to flow out of his tears. It was natural for him. He had absolutely no control over it. He didn’t consider himself weak because of HSP nature. He considered himself to be able to feel the depths of human emotions. He kinda liked it. But nobody knew that he was an HSP. It was his secret, he never intended to tell anyone.
So thinking John was fragile, Ryan decided to make him emotionally stronger. Whenever he taught something to John he was way too harsh on that criticism. He was using horrible and mean words even sharper than arrows. Ryan thought if he would practice becoming harsher than the world out there, John will not have any difficulty adapting to the world out there.
John noticed it. But due to his HSP nature, he was extensively being hurt. It was like he had new wounds every day before he could cover his old ones. He started following “tit for tat” and started responding in an abrupt way. Ryan though his plan is working. But it wasn’t true. He was broke on the inner side of his body. Since John was a teen and Ryan was older than him, John pitied himself believing that world is really a harsh place. He gave up on his assumption, that the world is good. Even after he realized that Ryan continued to behave that consistently. Ryan was happy more than sad. Because he believed that John is on the right path.
After a few years, when John got to know the world, absolutely. He was 10 feet away from every person. He could not just let someone in. But then he met people. He couldn’t stop seeing the actual good there is in people. Those people resurrected his faith in the world. He was reaffirmed by real experiences. He came to know that nobody is bad. It’s just the situation that makes a person look bad. He thought over the same thing that why Ryan was portraying himself bad? He though it for weeks. He couldn’t find the answer. He was going to ask Ryan himself. So he went over his house. Sadly, at the same time, Ryan was dealing with some family stress. He was frustrated. John recognized that. He forced him to tell everything that was going on. Let me portray that conversation.
J- What is it? Is it work, family? Did you screw up?
R- NO! no. The only problem is I…I didn’t screw up.
J- What?
R- I am a perfect husband, son, employee. Nobody is mad at me.
J- So why are you so mad at yourself?
R- Because I am done.
J- For what?
R- I am done being the person everyone likes. I just wished so much for everyone. I just wanted to help everyone and I did. I did but I got so carried away that I am not a single person anymore. I am heartless, and inspiration as a manager. I am the most romantic person alive as a husband. I am the best son to be. I am everything I was supposed to be. But something feels terribly wrong. I..I…
J- The reason you have that feeling is that you don’t know anymore who you are. You are everything but not Ryan. Back from the time when changed. That one day you made me believe that the world is harsh.
R- I don’t know what are you talking about.
J- But you changed me today, again. You showed me that how good can a person be. How a being can be so selfless. I believe strongly now that the world is not a grim. Its joy and much more than it. We just have to choose what to see.
Ryan was stumped. John left. Those were his last words before leaving Ryans house.
I don’t know what happened next. But I learned a very important lesson. You cannot be strong by just being cold, ruthless or even emotionless. There is another way to be strong. By having faith in people. By believing that the goodness in people will prevail. This story reaffirmed my faith. My judgment made me let people in. I choose to hope for good instead of being afraid of the bad. Because I know that “bad” comes conditionally. Its always up to you whether you judge people by their best or curse them for their worst. Just use the proper pair of eyes to see how much good is there inside the world. Bad can never exceed over good.
It is destined that Good always triumphs over bad. Hope was, is and always will be stronger than fear.